from Kalindi Mayi Dasi – Ukraine, Pavlograd

Dear Srila Gurudev,

Accept my obeisances. All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

In this offering I want to express to You all my love, to try to return at least part of the one that You give me over the years.

In this age of Kali, without Spiritual Master, we cannot achieve anything, it is he who gives us the bigger part of our spiritual strength, which allows one to serve God. The Spiritual Master is non-different from God.

guru krisna-rupa hana sastrera pramane guru-rupe krsna kripa karena bhakta-gane

“All revealed scriptures state that the spiritual master is not different from the Lord Krsna. In guise of a spiritual master, Krsna grants liberation to his devotees.”

Purport: “Disciple’s relationship with Spiritual Master is essentially the same as the relationship with the Supreme Lord.” [ Caitanya Caritamrita, Adi-Lila, 1.45].

With the words in the offering I cannot express all sincerity, all gratitude that is in my heart, but I will try to say at least a drop.

I am very glad, that I have You in my life. Every day I think about You, and You are always in my heart. I have known You since childhood, and every year I became attached to You even more. From the age of three I go to Your Vyasa Puja and of course, the brightest moments and memories took place near You. You found me and took me to Your family. You are the father, who saves me from everything bad. I have a lot of memories in which Your fatherly support and love are felt. For example, when I was little, I walked holding Your hand, and often I would trip over my skirt, and then You grasped my hand stronger, and looked with such care, that overwhelmed me from within with happiness, and this Your glance even now, after many years, allows me to be happy and fly in the clouds. And when I received the initiation, You said: “You will forever remain my little Kalindi”. This phrase pierced my heart, as my father’s love that envelops me whole. Every time I think about something, You seem to read my thoughts, give answers to all my questions, although I did not even tell You about them. After this, it is always confirmed in my head that we are really connected with You, and You live in the heart of each Your disciples.
You are a wizard for me, and one of my most vivid memories, confirms this fact. This story happened on the Polish tour, when I got very sick, that I could neither eat nor drink and, of course, I could not go to the festival with You, and because of this, I was depressed. And in the evening, when everyone arrived, the girls rushed to me and said, that Gurudev was coming up to visit me, it was very unexpected for me… Many more devotees came with You then, You asked me about my health and well-being, You gave me a very cute rabbit and said, that he would cure me. And the next day, as if by magic, I began to recover. And this story showed me that the words of Gurudev are in fact truth and truth. There are many more stories of Your mercy and love for me, only they allow me to put out a little the fire of pain in separation from You.

You set a great example of spiritual love for God. You are ready to do literally everything to continue the mission of your Spiritual Teacher and spread the holy name throughout the world. You cope with any pain and illness, with any troubles and difficulties. Over the years, spend a Polish tour and distribute the Holy Name to millions of punks on Woodstock. You are an example of love for the Spiritual Teacher, I still remember your offering on the Polish tour in 2019, how You read it with tears in Your eyes, or Your dreams about Prabhupada. I really want to learn at least a drop of your love and devotion.

I want to apologize to You for all my mistakes, failures and troubles that I brought to You. In Srimad Bhagavatam [4.21.31] in purport it is said:

“In this connection, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu said that the spiritual master, who acts as a representative of Krsna, has to take upon himself all the sins of his disciple. Often, a spiritual teacher takes risks by accepting too many other sins, because of which he has to experience this or that suffering.”

I do not want to be the cause of Your suffering and disappointment.

I want to express my deep gratitude to You, for your videos and photos that You post on social networks, so we can travel to holy places without leaving our homes and we can feel like You are somewhere close. My most cherished desire is to walk with You in Vrindavan and listen to its greatness and the eternal pastimes of the Lord.

I really hope and pray, that your health does not fail You, but rather helps You in serving the Lord and the Spiritual Teacher.

I want to ask You for blessings in order to be like you, even a little in the desire to serve and spiritual purity and maturity in my actions.

I really hope to see You soon.

Your spiritual daughter and servant, Kalindi Mayi Dasi