From Rasika Gopi dasi – Russia, Novokuibyshevsk

Dear Srila Gurudev,
Please, accept my humble obeisances in the dust of Your lotus feet! All Glories to Srila Prabhupada! All glories to You!
On this auspicious day of Your appearance in this world allow me to make a modest attempt to express my gratitude to You. If I have a look at my life, I can find out that all good things are only at Your causeless mercy. You gave me everything! I was the only child in my family and did not understand how it felt to have a sister or a brother. Could I have imagined that I would have such a huge family one day? During parikramas You always say: “This is our family for a month”. Actually, I feel that You gave me all these devotees as my eternal family and we can continue together with our service to You beyond this word. Especially, I am grateful to You for my close spiritual sisters — Jayasri Rasarani Dasi and Rasa Kishori Dasi who are the great source of inspiration for me in their sincere service to You. You said that real relationship is based on a shared service and I realized it was true.
Thank You very much for the opportunity to take part in the Polish Tour. I remember clearly the day of Your Vyasa Puja in St. Petersburg five years ago when You said that every Your disciple must participate in one Polish tour at least once a lifetime. I have never heard anything about the Tour before and I could not even imagine what it was in real life. However, somehow, I found myself going there in a month. What was it but Your unlimited mercy? You let me be a part of spreading the mission of Lord Caitanya in these days. I admire the idea of festivals and theatre performances that allow ordinary people to come into contact with Krsna Consciousness in such an attractive way. I know from Your diaries that there were a lot of obstacles in the early years, but thanks to Your persistence and determination now people are happy to come to festivals and sometimes even plan vacations to get to them. And how happy are the little girls who carefully keep every saris which are given to them at the end of the program? One woman told me that her daughter already had six or seven saris and she did not wash off the gopi dots for several days after the festival! And some adults come just because of Your lecture on the stage and after it they look forward to You signing Srila Prabhupada’s books and asking You questions. And, of course, prasadam — the guests of the festivals just love it!
Sometimes I wonder who is more fortunate: the Polish who so easily receive mercy without realizing its full value or we are, Your disciples, who observe the example of our Spiritual Master who is willing to endure any difficulties for the sake of spreading the Holy Names. You said: “It is like cane juice which is so hot that it is impossible to drink and so sweet that it is impossible to stop”.
I am immensely grateful to You for the opportunity to get into the Sri Vrndavana Dham! You, like our beloved Srila Prabhupada, invite all of us to the Holy land where Krsna’s pastimes took place. However, there is nothing to do in Holy places without an experienced guide to help the Lord manifest in Your heart.
In Your book “How to get to Sri Vrindavana Dhama” You told a story about how You and some Your spiritual brothers got lost in the Dhama after the performance of “Rasa Lila”. When Srila Prabhupada saw You, He said: “If You follow a Spiritual Master You will always be safe”. Similarly, I would like to follow You in the hope that the Holy Dhama will reveal Herself one day. When I was going to the Holy Dhama for the first time, some senior devotees said: “It is dangerous to go straight to Vrindavan for the first time”. And I had some doubts. Then I had a dream in which You said: “It will be Kartik soon”, and I realized that I must go. It was impossible to see the Holy places with my heart full of material desires, but due to Your mercy through the lectures, I managed to catch some drops of nectar. It is amazing how carefully You prepare for parikramas by searching for more and more amazing places in the Holy Dhama for Your disciples and well-wishes.
Thanks to Your efforts I have lots of memories related to the Holy places in my heart. The most awesome one is the incredible kirtan in Navadvipa Dhama where we chanted: “Gauranga, Gauranga, Gauranga…” At that moment, it seemed to everyone that the borders were blurred and we were in the Spiritual World. Thank You, Srila Gurudev! It was a great blessing! These memories are like precious pearls that I want to string on a thread of gratitude to You, my Dear Spiritual Master.
Thank You for the darsans of Your Deities that You graciously display in Your lectures. What is dear to You becomes dear to us. On Your Altar all Deities are so unusual and every single thing is so special. I always admire love and devotion in Your worship of the Deities. On the Polish tour You allow observing this intimate process which inspires and gives me hope that one day the Deities will come into my life, too. I am also grateful to You for Your disciple, my mentor, Somaditya Mataji who has a strong attachment to the worship of Sri Sri Nitai Gaura Nataraj and Prahlad Nrsimhadev in the Samara temple. I am so happy to have a chance to help sometimes to humble servant whose only desire is to satisfy the Deities.
I am very grateful to You for Your webinars that are great support for all of us during the quarantine. Thanks to them, I feel that our huge family is back together and there is no isolation at all. You have proved that distance is not a hindrance and if we cannot physically go somewhere, we can do it by listening to katha about these amazing places. I cannot even imagine how long You have to prepare for the lectures but each of them is truly priceless! Despite the weather conditions, difficulties with the Internet, and Your physical condition, You always continue to inspire us to take steps in Krsna Consciousness. In this respect, You are very similar to Your dear Spiritual Master, Srila Prabhupada. Every time You remember Him, You can barely hold back the tears — the tears of separation from the person who is the dearest to Your heart. Can I ever, like You who have made Srila Prabhupada’s instructions Your life and soul, make Your instructions my life and soul? I will pray for it. You often say that love is an action and prove it by Your actions. Once on the Polish tour, You said that because of the festivals You did not have enough time to write an offering to Srila Prabhupada and some spiritual brothers were not pleased with it. Then You said that all these festivals are Your offering to Your spiritual Master. What can be better than words — only actions!
Another time You asked us to write letters to Srila Prabhupada and read them in different languages. Actually, You said that all devotees had spoken through the language of Love. When You started reading Your letter, we could not help by cry! It was so touching and intimate. You shared lots of such unforgettable moments with us. Will I ever be able to appreciate all these priceless gifts?
Thank You for Your instruction for all us: “It is high time to go inside”. In Your book “Nama Ratnavali” You wrote: “Our hopes and expectations are usually in schemas, business plans, but it will be better for us if we realize that our only hope is in the never-ending nectar of the Holy Name”. To tell the truth, it is not such an easy thing to realize when you are young and your desires are strong. Only due to Your intense absorption in chanting the Holy Names maybe one day I will fully realize the caption made under the photo with Your japa: “My ticket home…”
Thanks to Your mercy I am taking some steps in this direction during the quarantine — I have started reading “The Living Name. A guide to Chanting with Absorption” book by Sacinandana Swami and joined his webinars of the same topic. They are so simple and deep at the same time that even I got some realizations. The most obvious one — if I want the Holy Name reveal Himself I must clean my heart. I understood that it is not a fast way, but as You said: “It is better to drive slowly in the right direction than to rush at high speed into the abyss”. There is a poster in my room with Your quote: “The best gift for a Spiritual Master would be if You could awaken Your dormant love for the Lord. I would be very happy”. I hope my clumsy attempts will succeed and I will be able to give You such a gift one day.
Dear Srila Gurudev, on this auspicious day of Your appearance I would like to wish You that Your heart’s desire to satisfy Your dear Spiritual Master, Srila Prabhupada, has been fulfilled and You would allow us to be the instruments in fulfilling this desire. I also wish You strong health and the continuation of Your great preaching programs!
Trying to be Your servant, Rasika Gopi dasi