From Ananga Manjari devi dasi

Dear Srila Gurudev
Please accept my humble obeisances at the dust of your lotus feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
This year has been extremely nectarean for my understanding of how much I want to be dedicated to you. You have given me spiritual birth, for which I am immensely grateful. You have given me service, and by your mercy, I have had the opportunity to visit the Holy Dham, not just once but many times!
By your boundless mercy and permission, the Lords of my heart have come to me, and being a foolish person, not knowing how to approach Them, you bestowed upon Them the names to chant: “Jaya Doyal Nitai, Jaya Vijay Gauranga, Doyal Nitai, Jaya Vijay Gauranga.” Fortunately, my dear spiritual brother was by my side and before I approached you, he shouted, “Turn on the dictaphone!” And now, as long as my phone lives, I have a recording of you singing Their sweet names.
By your great mercy, you allow me to visit the Holy Dhama more often than I ever imagined. Now, more frequently than once every four years, I can see you, hear from you, and endeavor to personally serve you.
Every time I see you, my heart trembles, contracts, my breath catches, and tears flow like a river. Unfortunately, I don’t experience such feelings towards anyone else. And I sincerely hope that one day I will learn to cry for the Lord. When you recently arrived in Mayapur, I was fortunate to perform parikrama behind your car. We set off after lunch, and it so happened that your car was in front. My heart was overwhelmed by the sight of you, and that you would soon step out of the car, filling my heart once again with pure love.
During the month of Kartika, in the Holy Dhama, I realized that you are the guiding beacon leading us in the right direction. When I moved around Vrindavan without you, it was torturous for me. Monkeys bothered me, the noise of that place, the dirt, and everything that resulted from it. But when you appeared, all these disturbances that troubled my mind seemed to be silenced.
And to hear you say, “Oh, long time no see,” melts my heart. I hope that I will be able to have your darshan again and serve you in whatever capacity I can.
My services in translating your lectures are no longer as frequent, and it is no longer my main service. But thanks to your senior disciples, I am trying to engage myself in serving you as an organizer of initiations and Vyasa-pujas.
Recently, after completing your online Vyasa-puja for Russia and Kazakhstan, I realized that organizing this event is my offering to you. Not everything went smoothly, but I sincerely hope that you are satisfied with my humble service. And I understand why this particular service came to me. I used to be an introvert, confined within four walls, unable to communicate properly with people, and a person who was very sick and unable to do anything. But thanks to my service to you, I began to grow and flourish. I started to interact with people, make friends, and build a family in Krishna consciousness.
I remember when I chose you as my spiritual master, people would tell me, “You should place his picture on the altar.” And I would avoid doing that. But then, when I realized it was time, I asked my friend to print your photo because every time I thought about going and printing your photo, excuses would immediately come up. But as soon as I received your picture, I put it in a frame, and the next day or so, I would run to my husband and say, “It seems my guru wants to eat.” And you would ask for food for about two weeks!! I was afraid I would get tired of feeding you!)
I never thought that while feeding you, with trembling hands and not knowing how to do it, you would nourish me with love. And after several years, I can nourish you with my love by bringing you 10 jars of ice cream, and you would tasted each jar, which would have different flavors. But alas, I never found out which flavor was the best for you. For me, it’s tutti-frutti.))
And special thanks for allowing me to be in the association of your disciples. Being your disciple is my greatest pride and honor.
Your insignificant servant, residing in the dust of your lotus feet, Ananga Manjari devi dasi.