From Mangala Mala das – Russia, Krasnodar

Dear Srila Gurudeva!
I am a little bit ashamed because only now I have matured enough to write to you, and this is my first ever offering to you.
The first time I have seen you, you arrived to St. Petersburg after a long break in spring 2013. From that moment on I started to try my best in being useful in service to devotees. After seven years, only now I am realising my great luck to be your disciple. Only now I am overcoming my shyness and ego to write to you. I would like to express my gratitude for all you have done for us and for your personal example as a disciple, a spiritual master and a genuine gentleman.
Recently, while talking about devotional service with my friend, I have realised that year after year my life becomes more and more interesting, meaningful and intense. Meeting you and being initiated despite my unqualification was a turning point in my life. As far as I remember, all my life I was trying to be independent and to rebel against traditional values represented by family, government, society etc. I was thinking about myself as the center of the world. I used to say: “Don’t let the outside world to influence you“. I was looking for some ideal, pure and committed to its ideas society. Being disappointed and unhappy after army service and dealing with different organisations I became desperate, and ended up coming in contact with devotees. I have realised that devotees embodied all the ideas I was looking for. Without any doubt I do not want to be independent anymore. This is the best thing that happened to me. I have met and received the shelter of the bona fide spiritual master. I have got a new family of devotees. The best and the safest position is — to be a disciple. To be a disciple of such a spiritual master like you is the greatest success, mercy and real happiness. You are our general and commander. I am proud to be part of the army you expertly sending to the battle for the case of the conditioned souls who struggle without knowledge about Prabhupada and his message. Thinking about it, my hearts fills with warm and gratitude. I do not know what else I can do but follow the prescribed duties and my sadhana.
At the beginning of the quarantine you have told us to find a safe place. My fiance and I took this instruction and left St Petersburg for southern Russia to stay with a devotee family. Living simple life, we can devote more time to recharge so we will give more to others later. Despite of all complications around the world it is great time for me. I can deepen my deity service, improve my sadhana, chant the holy names, read, listen to more lectures and do all of it with attention.
It is not an easy task to find the words to describe what is in the heart but the acaryas prayers perfectly describe the essence. Recently I have read in “Hari Bhakti Vilasa” about the disciple who was asking spiritual master for initiation. This resonated with me. You have given me the opportunity to serve and be useful, and I will be grateful till the end of my life. I would like to finish my attempt to glorify you with the following verse:
trayasva bho jagannatha guro samsara-vahnina
dagdham mam kala-dastam ca tvam aham saranam gatah
“O Master, the Lord of the world, protect me, Sir who am scorched by the fire of samsara and bitten by the snake of time; I have come to you for refuge!“
Your insignificant servant and disciple, Mangala Mala das