From Nirmala Gaurangi dasi – Russia, Cheboksary

Dear Guru Maharaj,
Please, accept my humble obeisances in the dust of Your lotus feet. Please accept my congratulations on Your Birthday!
Another year has passed that has brought You closer to Krsna, as well as all Your disciples. This year was not easy for me. Last year leaving the Polish tour I came to You to tell goodbye and to thank You. On my question: “How can I serve You?” — You replied, that I should chant my japa more attentively. Thank You. This instruction was my support for this year.
While listening to Your lectures I started to pay more attention on what You say about chanting the Holy Names. Last year I rendered a lot of service on Janmashtami, and therefore did not manage to chant japa. I am still very much ashamed of it. After that time I came to a crucial conclusion — japa must be on the first place. No service can be more important than chanting the Holy Names.
In December 2019 Bhakti Caitanya Swami Maharaj held a retreat in our city. I liked it when he asked us to answer the question: “Why do I chant the Holy Names?”. We had to write down five reasons and then five more reasons for five previous ones. One of my reasons was — to please You. I try very hard to chant japa attentively. Unfortunately, it is not always achieved.
Dear Gurudev, thank You for Your instructions! Now during the pandemic, it becomes clear that we need to improve the quality of our spiritual practice. Thank You for Your webinars. I try to listen to them online. However, I do not always manage to do it at work properly. That is why I re-listen to them at home. Thank You!
As I have more spare time, I try to spend it reading Srila Prabhupada’s books. On Tuesdays we usually got together at our home to have a nama-hatta and read Srimad Bhagavatam. Right now we had to cancel these meetings. On the 20th of May I am going to pass Bhakti-Sastri exam. I feel very anxious. I do not think I know anything. Last year on the Polish tour You said that the Sanskrit is a very beautiful language. And You read Sanskrit very well. I also want to learn reading Sanskrit as You do. It is the second year I have been reading in Sanskrit one chapter from Bhagavad Gita every day. I would like to be able to read beautifully in the long run. Please, give me Your blessings.
I thank You very much for Your Deities’ photos and videos. In the morning during japa time I look at Them. I do not know whether it is right or not.
However, when I look at Them, my mind does not run away to the material world. With Your blessings I continue serving the Deities of our Yatra. We have Panca Tattva here. In fact, I realized that it is not me, but You, who serve Them. Dear Guru Maharaj, I want to open You a secret: after I started serving the Deities, I found out how much dirt there is in my heart. I am even getting scared. I ask myself: where does it come from. Please, help me to purify my heart, so that I could serve Krsna and You with a pure heart. Dear Gurudev, please bless me to serve You. Let me be an instrument for Your mission and service to Srila Prabhupada. Please bless me for pure and attentive chanting of the Holy names.
Dear Guru Maharaj, may all Your spiritual desires be fulfilled! May the Lord Nrsimha protect You from bad people and dangerous situations. Let Panca Tattva give You strength to serve Srila Prabhupada and spread Lord Caitanya’s mission! May Lord Krsna grant You power and health, allowing You to stay longer with us! May Srimati Radharani give You love and devotion to Krsna!
Your servant, Nirmala Gaurangi dasi