From Sukhanti Radha dasi – Russia, Saint Petersburg

Dear Srila Gurudeva,
Please accept my obeisances in the dust of your feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupada who sent you to me as the savior of my soul.
I pray to the Lord to give you good health. There are really so many worries in this world. Please take care of yourself! Dear Srila Gurudeva, I am never tired of admiring your kind, loving Vaisnava heart . You personally care so much about your disciples, other devotees and people who don’t practice the path yet. As I am your disciple, I see all types of publications on the Internet about your life and preaching activity as very precious to me. Thank you so much for this opportunity. And of course I thank you for your webinars during the lockdown! They are priceless mercy, a manifestation of your open heart and love. Each class is a jewel that makes the connection with you stronger and also makes the relationship with you more heartfelt. I also want to thank you for providing us with association of Prabhupada’s disciples, such as Caturatma prabhu, mataji Sitala and especially Badahari prabhu. It is so significant; Srila Prabhupada’s family becomes closer to us and association with Vaisnavas gives matchless gifts to the heart. And the association with your disciples who give keys to deep relations with you is also certainly very important to me! Thank you, thank you, thank you, dear Srila Gurudeva, for all your concerns!
I want to report you about a year of my service. In previous years, I tried to take the chance to cook prasadam for the Deities, for devotees, and in general it was my activity, since I worked as a confectioner in a devotees’ business. However, the last time I served like that was a year ago when we cooked a maha cake for your Vyasa Puja. As always, mataji Kelly Kunja was in charge of decorating it, and my team of devotees was responsible for the cooking. The chance to perform such a service makes the heart livelier and overwhelms it with enthusiasm. That time I was in the 4th month of pregnancy, so I had to stop working and performing active service with the permission of my husband Achyutagraj prabhu. I spent the rest of the time improving my health, personal practice and regularly visits of Sunday programs.
By the numerous blessings I gave birth to a nice healthy boy on the 24th of October, Rama Ekadasi. We named him Timur, and later Bhakti Vijnana Gosvami Maharaja, the diksa-guru of my husband, gave him a spiritual name Tirtharaj. I must admit that the first months after giving birth were difficult for me and for my spiritual practice. At first I could only continuously listen to Srila Prabhupada’s japa and to your kirtans. Then I started chanting my rounds on the beads, but I couldn’t chant all sixteen rounds. Though I was gradually getting used to my motherhood and my health was improving, I still couldn’t chant as earlier. It was hard to realize that over the years of practice I did not achieved enough attachment to the holy name. But one day my friend, Divyangi Palini, decided to help me. I started reporting to her how many rounds I had read during the day, and sometimes we shared with each other things that inspired us to chant. It is such a great treasure, such a mercy! For a month already I have been chanting sixteen rounds on the beads, and now I’ve taken up chanting the Gayatri Mantras again, and I’ve been reading Srila Prabhupada’s and your books. My mind also thinks of a strategy to read more books and start over the Deity worship, because now we are only feeding Them, but I want to bathe Them as well.
I am sorry, dear Gurudeva, that I cannot follow the path of bhakti without falling and stumbling. Thank you very much for supporting me, thank you for your love and care. I really want to live this life that way, so that I wouldn’t regret my lost spiritual opportunities. I would like to express my special gratitude to you for always inspiring parents to take care of children in the mood of service. It is very important; it supports and gives one the consciousness of a servant.
And thank you very much again for the mystical connection in the heart from the master to a disciple, which blooms and deepens. I am sure that all my feelings are just an answer to your love and care. I hope that one day my heart will be cleansed and I will be able to appreciate this boundless love. That’s a pity that I am not one of your dearest disciples, but I am grateful to the Lord for the opportunities that I have. Dear Srila Gurudeva, please bless me to become your worthy disciple, to develop the qualities of a servant and an attachment to the holy name and Vaisnavas.
Forever and ever your servant, Sukhanti Radha dasi