from Lila Rani Gaurangi Dasi – France, New Mayapur

My dearest Srila Gurudev, please accept my humble obeisances all glories to Srila Prabhupad.

Even though it is your birthday and you are supposed to be the one getting a gift I feel it is truly a gift each year to meditate on my relationship with you and to think about every moment passed in your presence. To think of every connection, every word spoken, every glance taken and swim in the joy of remembrance.

Although you do not have to, you gladly give advice and guidance for every single detail in our lives, you teach us not only the joys of experiencing Krishna consciousness, but also how to live a perfect life. You sprinkle in your wonderful memories and realizations about your time with Srila Prabhupada to teach us valuable yet personal lessons.

Every year it becomes more and more apparent to me. Every year I see it more and more clearly how, like a mothers care and love, you care and love us infinitely and unlimitedly, more than we could understand ourselves. Thank you for your deep caring love which I feel everyday.

This family we have is a safe space. It’s safe to be myself and not “myself” who I am when I am out in the world, that is but a dream. The real self, when I am in Vrindavan that is truly reality when I am with all of the devotees, screaming the holy name either from stages or from the streets or on the beach – that is reality. Anywhere with you feels like reality when I am reminded of our true purpose. Being able to serve you is like a breath of fresh air from the smoke filled illusory world. To chant and dance with the devotees and follow you with faith is my deepest desire.

Happy birthday Srila Gurudeva!

Forever praying for service,

Lila Rani Gaurangi Dasi