From Gopa Sundari Dasi – Crimea, Simferopol

Dear Srila Gurudeva,

Hare Krishna! Please accept my humble obeisances in the dust of your lotus feet. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!

Thank you, dear Gurudeva, for all the mercy you get from your dear master and distribute to us, your disciples. Your mercy is so great and so varied, that one cannot comprehend it at once, it is the same difficult as to see a huge picture at close range. I used to think that I was out of your favor. I am a wife and mother of two children. I have never been to the Polish tour, I have never been on a parikrama to the holy dhama with you, I have not even had a chance to talk to you. I was in despair and cried because of that and prayed that in my next life I would be born in a male body and become your close servant, so that I could assist you with the mission of Lord Caitanya and the great message of Srila Prabhupada.

But something has changed. As you said, for you this virus has become a karuna-virus, a virus of mercy, because you have the opportunity to be in the
holy Vrindavan. For me, perhaps, the vision has changed because the virus made me cultivate more of the mode of goodness. I realized that your mercy reaches your disciples, who are far away from you, at the same extent, as to your close servants. With your classes, broadcasts, and prayers you take care of each disciple as if he was the only one, even though the number of your spiritual children has already exceeded 5,000!
I know that I am not even in the rear of your mission, but rather on the side of the road on the way to the spiritual world, moving like a snail. But Krishna says that He responds to one just to the same extent as he surrenders onto Him! It is difficult for me to surrender to Krishna. I don’t know Him. But I know you, dear Gurudeva, and I want to surrender to you. As I stand at the roadside on the way to the spiritual world, I still want to offer you my obeisances three times a day and to offer the result of all my activities, e.g. preaching to my children, cooking prasadam or doing my housework. Prabhupada said that even a janitor performs devotional service if he sweeps streets for Krishna. All the service I perform is for you, and I realize that the connection with you is growing stronger, that I get your mercy, because I understand Prabhupada’s books better, my japa is more attentive, and I am more responsible in my service. It would be foolish to say that this is due to my efforts. No, the reason for that is your mercy only.

So today I want to give you a gift. What can I give to you? It is ridiculous! I’m just a microbe compared to you. But I want to thank you for your mercy, and maybe it looks like a grain of sand that a spider brought to the bridge over the ocean to Lanka, so let it be. I want to promise that I will pray for you every day, so that your burden of responsibility for your spiritual children would be easier for you for a tiny grain of sand. Thank you, dear Gurudeva, for never once giving me reason to doubt you, your devotion to Krishna and Prabhupada.

Far away from you physically, but very close to your heart.

Forever your disciple, Gopa Sundari Dasi