From Siddhanta Saraswati Vilasa das

Hare Krishna, H.H. Srila Indradyumna Swami Maharaj! Please accept my humble bows. All glories to Srila Prabhupada!
Forgive me in advance for the errors of language – I translated this letter using an automatic translator.
Dear Gurudev, on this anniversary Vyasa Puja, I would like to say a few words about how I understand your glory, qualities and show gratitude as much as I can…
In the time since my initiation in 2018, I have realized that this was a grace for me that I have yet to appreciate. Only now am I beginning to understand that if it were not for your compassion and mercy towards me, my life would gradually go to hell. And I will dwell on this quality, on mercy, in more detail.
What prompts you to give shelter to your students, followers, and give protection to people you hardly know? With my mentor, Medini-Pati prabhu, we discussed the topic of mercy in his lectures. What I realized is that the only reason for taking such steps is your huge heart, compassion, and gratitude towards Srila Prabhupada. We discussed with our mentor that in our parampara, in this chain, we cannot forget anyone. We should be grateful to everyone. Because the end of this chain is in the spiritual world. For the last 2 years, according to the instructions of Medini-pati prabhu, I have been trying to conduct namahatta with devotees in Moscow. There are about 20 of them. And this is already very useful. How much energy and strength do you need to devote time and effort to such a number of students?
Mercy can manifest itself in different ways… But what for me is the most powerful manifestation in you… Perhaps the fact that you uncompromisingly, perfectly followed your spiritual teacher, His Grace Srila Prabhupada, as a disciple, thereby setting an example to all your followers that that – “Anything is possible!” We, your disciple, can do this too! We can surrender, we can count on your strength, support, if we follow in your footsteps, if we are followers in practice… My mind will no longer be able to say that “I did not have a living example of following and success in Krishna Consciousness! There is you and your path!” It’s so easy, in a fit of cowardice, to say that we are fallen and cannot follow anything. Your success story and your example are the highest mercy for us, your students.
You showed how to behave, how to preach, how to look, how to communicate, how to care for disciple, how to endure trials, to have courage, gentleness and acceptance at the same time. Such qualities are incompatible in an ordinary person…
It is said that the qualities of a student are given and developed by the Guru. Reading your books and instructions about the Holy Name, about the Dham, I understand that I still have room to develop before the end of this birth… in order to gain taste from it. And if I have done anything to preach over the past 2 years, it was only thanks to the reliance on you, your representatives, and your example.
I am also very grateful that you give an example that “Krishna Consciousness is gold” and is worth paying for. It is always tasty, always new, always attractive. And the way you present it is always attractive. And one more thing…spiritual practice from your lips is always simple and sublime…This is what Srila Prabhupada told you about “that in the spiritual world everything will be simple and sublime” …How I am waiting for this moment…When I can already leave all responsibilities and desires this world, and follow you, Gurudev…
Despite the abundance of lectures and the opportunity to communicate with you through them, to my tragedy, I can admit that so far, I have little taste directly for Krishna katha… BUT! How much nectar I receive from your kirtans, from parikrama with Prahlad prabhu and the entire group of devotees! From your philosophical lectures. Thank you for the organization, the level of quality and preaching that you support! It is very difficult! I hope that when our namahatta and I can also preach, distribute the Holy Names and help aspiring devotees to follow the spiritual path! Now, when I go to Harinama, I intuitively compare them with your Harinama and kirtan. I also studying your famous classical kirtan. Despite the terrible voice and lack of hearing, Gurudev, when will I still be able to sing it as an offering to you!
Over the past 2 years, my wife and I have spent about 60 namahattas at our home. Please accept this as an offering to you and your lotus feet. It was not easy, I was constantly sick, I worked at the same time, there were other problems, but the taste for service still outweighed. Our mentor, Medini-pati prabhu, said that despite all the problems “die but do namahatta in Moscow” … This happened only because I relied on your fearlessness, shakti, example. And of course, the support of Medini-pati prabhu. We quietly hope that someday you, while in Moscow, will be able to get acquainted with this group and we will be able to get a little of your communication. The devotees in the group really love your kirtans, you, and really hope to see you soon in Moscow…
During this year, according to my mentor, my ego began to change a little. There was less pride, perhaps less desire for pleasure… My wife and I began to think more about the devotees, not about ourselves. We drew strength for this from your example, from the example of behavior in your books.
Dear Gurudev, even though I tried very hard to preach a lot over the past years, and try to read your books, meditate on your qualities, I understand that since I have not been with you on pilgrimages more than once, never served you personally, I I know very little personally. As a person. We miss you here in Moscow. My wife and I miss you very much… Of course, you can listen to lectures… But what about maha cake for Vyasa Puja in St. Petersburg? What about dancing with Chaturatma, what about the offering to you for Vyasa Puja? What about communication? Nothing can replace this…We haven’t been able to come to you for parikrama yet, but I really pray that we will be able to overcome our personal and social problems and find an opportunity for this this year…
I’ll probably be sentimental again, but I always remember your phrase – “We don’t abandon our own” … I really appreciate Faith in you, in your example, and I hope that this will also allow me to help and preach to devotees, “without abandoning them here, in the illusion of this world.” …. I hope to follow in your footsteps at least a little, helping you….
Still in service, your disciple Siddhanta Saraswati Vilasa das.